The 13 Components Of Stimulating Conversation
While Jim Morrison’s mantra might have been People are Strange, I love people. They intrigue me. Their dreams, frustrations, pursuits and actions fascinate me.
Their stories fuel and inspire me. However, reading and seeing from a distance is a spectator sport and not my cup of tea. I prefer a more direct contact sport: conversation.
Conversations can come in different shapes, sizes and varietals. Not every conversation is like an award-winning wine. Some are purely functional in nature, while others meet our needs for belonging, professional engagement and even actualization.
Stimulating Conversation
But just as a Dirty Martini has a few basic components (no matter where it’s made), a stimulating conversation has some fundamental qualities.
1. Sincerity is critical. It makes everything better.
2. Listening. Most people don’t do this very well. It’s an amazing skill (which necessitates a separate post)
3. Relevance makes a huge difference.
4. Timing is everything. Sometimes it’s the right time and sometimes it’s just not.
5. Value should be a part of the conversation. Does it enhance people’s lives? Is it good information? Does it make them feel better?
6. Balance of lifestyle and business. Because life is about living and working – we need a balance.
7. Stories make conversation better.
8. Judgement. Use common sense in regard to what you say.
9. The Unsaid. What you leave unsaid is as important as what you say.
10. Truth. Be true to who you are. Keep it real.
11. Contention makes for great conversation.
12. Silence. It’s powerful. Learn how to use it in a conversation.
13. Ending. Conversations have to end. You can always restart, but be respectful of people’s (and your own) time.
All of these will work for online and offline conversations. Use these ingredients and you’ll find the quality of your conversations more rewarding.
My parting thought for you
“Conversation is the fine art of mutual consideration and communication about matters of common interest that basically have some human importance.” – Ordway Tead, Organizational Theorist